Children experience big emotions just like adults do. Most of the time, they can use the coping skills you, the parent has taught them. However, sometimes they need a little more support, a source of distraction that will allow them to express their big feelings healthily and safely and calm them down simultaneously. That’s when having a DIY coping skills toolbox comes in handy.
What is a coping skills toolbox?
A coping skills toolbox is a physical box, container, or sometimes bag that holds items that your child can use as a source of distraction. These items encourage your child to calm down and express their feelings in a healthy, safe, and conducive way.
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What should you include in your kid’s coping skills kit?
It can be mind-boggling to come up with the types of items to put in your child’s DIY coping skills box but remember that there is power in simplicity, so please keep it simple.
Create the coping skill along side your child, so that way you can get their of opinion of the types of items to include in the toolbox. Put things in the coping skills box that your child likes, that are calming and that your child will find hFamiliarity is comforting, soothing, and healing. Create the coping skill alongside your child to get their opinion on what types of items to include in the toolbox.
And put things in the coping skills box that your child likes, that are calming and that your child will find helpful and soothing in a time when they are experiencing overwhelming feelings.
Children who learn how to manage and control their emotions in childhood are more inclined to use these healthy and safe skills into adulthood.
Why does my child need a coping skills toolkit?
It is important to teach and help your child learn how to manage their big feelings early on in life. That’s why you teach them healthy coping skills, like taking deep breaths and counting to 10.
However, coping skills are not always helpful to every big emotion that your child experience. Having an alternative, something that will distract your child while giving them time to calm down, can make a world of difference.
Where to store your child’s coping skills toolkit?
You can either find a corner in your home and create a “calm down” corner or place your child’s coping skills box in a place that is easily accessible to them.
17 Items To Include In Your Kid’s DIY Coping Skills Toolbox
1) A family photo- A family photo will always remind your kids that no matter what emotions they are experiencing, they have people who will love them and support them no matter what.Â
2) Expandable breathing ball toy sphere– This expandable breathing ball is a favorite in my therapy sessions, especially for those with anxiety disorders.Â
3) A new book- If your child knows how to read, it could be useful to put a book inside their box. Be sure to change it up once they are done reading it to keep it interesting.
4) No-spill bubbles- are a mindless way to distract your child.
5) Wooden blocks– Building something will distract your child by challenging them to use their minds to be creative instead of focusing on their negative feelings. This building activity will calm them down before you know it!
6) Mrs. Potato– Oh, the fun! of having to take apart and put back together the pieces of Mrs. Potato. You can get Mr. Potato’s head as well.
7) Doodle board
8) Finger puppets
9) Play-Doh
10) Matching game
 11) Nutty toys
12) Package of assorted sensory toys (stress ball)
13) Bubble wrap
14) Sugar-Free & Aspartame Free gum to help with nerves
15) Noise-canceling headphones- Listening to their favorite playlist with childsafe noise-canceling headphones take their mind away from the stressful situation and puts them into a world of dancing and singing.
16) A coloring book with crayons- This (Melissa & Doug On the Go Color by Numbers Kids’ Design Board) is a favorite.
17) Squishy Cat Set
18) A weighted blanket or small lap pad for your child
19) A calm down or worry jar- Creating a calm-down jar is simple. Find the instructions to create a calm-down jar here. Creating a calm-down jar is simple. Find the instructions to create a calm-down jar here.Â
20) I Love You note from mom or dad
How to help your child identify and process their feelings
Once your child is noticeably calm, approach them and talk to them about how they are feeling. Your young child will most likely need your help identifying their feelings because anger is a secondary emotion. Anger is often masked as sadness, hurt, worry, anxiety, fear, shame, guilt, embarrassment, etc.
When to use your child’s DIY coping skills box
Try to get in the habit of allowing your child to use their coping skills toolkit only when they need it. It can be tempting to use this box negatively, like punishing your child for negative behavior or when you want some time alone. But remember that this is a “feel safe” box for your child when they have big feelings. This toolkit is to be used positively always.
